i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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