she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
