...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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