White coat. Heels.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
