He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
