We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
