I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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