I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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