I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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