how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
