I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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