youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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