No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
