Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
