It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
