so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
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I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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