oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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