look no pants
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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