I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
