i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
