im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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