i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
