winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
