I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
