Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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