You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
