I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
