Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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