She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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