I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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