It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
