i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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