you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
