This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
