apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
