McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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