You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
