I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
