did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
