i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
