just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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