Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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