apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
