Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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