Fine. I'll sleep in my office
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She bit a glass in half.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
