I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
