nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
