Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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