we're blogging at a bar
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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