Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
