I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
