Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
