Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
