try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
