tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
