That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
